aonyma

Aonyma is moving

2007-01-03T17:57:00.000-08:00

Yup, Blogger has pissed me the fuck off for the last time. I talked to the boys here (well, the majority of them) and we decided that we're moving this kick ass blog over to it's own IP.

So, go here from now on.

Hey! Joseph Rago! My Opinion Right Now is Go Fuck Yourself

2006-12-28T06:46:00.000-08:00

I saw this on MMODig. I haven't blogged in a long time. I need to come back just to post this.

The Blog Mob
"Written by fools to be read by imbeciles."

BY JOSEPH RAGO
Wednesday, December 20, 2006 12:01 a.m. EST

Listen up, fuckface:

PAY $45.76 TO READ THE REST OF THIS RANDOM INTERNET ASSHOLE'S OPINION.

Wouldn't that be dumb? That's what the Wall Street Journal does, where Joseph crafts his self-righteous insulting attacks on the Wall Street Journal's incredibly gullible subscribers.

Hell, that's what the mainstrean media (MSM) in general does, online, because they are goddamn idiots. But at least most of them keep their fucking mouths shut about the internet things they so obviously do not understand most of the time, rather than writing editorials to describe how ever so much they hope and pray all the readers out there discussing the news would shut up, bow down, kiss Joseph's ass.

Fuck you, Joseph! Guess what the real "scoop" you missed was, while writing your "Information Age" expose on how most bloggers are just discussing the news with each other, rather than reporting it.

Well, 'cept you fucked that up and said ALL bloggers, 'cause you are a editorial columnist and not a journalist, right?

See if you can wrap your bigass head around this:

NO ONE NEED 90,000 DIFFERENT NEWS OUTLETS POSTING THE SAME GODDAMN STORY ON THEIR WEBSITES.

You don't GET that yet. But you will. See I'm not talking about bloggers, I'm talking about the fucking "mainstream media's" web sites. The bloggers are chatting amongst themselves. You fucks are polutin.

Every local newspaper in a given region ought to just pony-up a tiny fraction of what they're all paying for shitty web sites and idiotic bullshit, get someone who knows how to make a website for the web on the internet, and replace about a thousand shitass newspaper websites in one fell swoop.

But you squeeze your little eyes shut tight. Write an article about all those bloggers with delusions of importance, who "aren't doing anything but reblogging the mainstream media news", to paraphrase.

Dickwad, that's all 99.9% of the MSM news sites are doing. And you're the only pompous dipshit with delusions of self-importance that I've seen today.

You almost grasps the notion that all those bloggers you're bitching about are your customers, but since you go on to insult them, I assume you suddenly had to scratch your ass instead of clutching onto the concept. So of course, no way to get to the obvious next step from there.

Why are YOU writing about the internt? By lumping what are basically homepages in with sites that matter and declaring that none of them matter, it's pretty obvious to me that you shouldn't be commenting on this topic at all.

Slashdot has more readers than you BY FAR. Oh but they don't matter cause they aren't out there journalizing? And you are? HAHAHAH

BULLSHIT.

You're ignoring the fact that sites like Penny Arcade have more readers than all the the gaming magazines combined. They don't reblog a damned thing. Hell, they don't even have much content. Hey, instead of writing about how "irrelevant" bloggers are - which isn't even a fucking story since that's about as controversial for most of us as, say, you just getting the fuck off the internet - don't you think there's a story in there somewhere?

Forget bloggers, you don't think there'll be ANNNNY changes due to the internet. Business as usual. One hundred years from now we'll still be doing this same stupid bullshit:

Newswire puts out a story.
A WHOLE FUCKTON of newspaper sites all run the exact same fucking story.

Man, that is brilliant.

Think! What do most journalists do, really? It's the same fucking stories in every local paper, national paper, sometimes global. All the bloggers are just passing along MSM's work? Uh, no, at least they're commenting on it. Basically the same as "chatting about the news" with your pals. What kind of ignorant fuck insults his readers for discussing the news? Joseph Rago!

And even what they are doing is a fuckton more than the wall street journal does with a Reuters article.

Oh yeh, they also tweak the headline.

The very most modest change we can expect to see (more of) is bloggers serving as a reality check on mainstream media. It's happened before, it'll happen again, it'll happen with all these god damned second life articles eventually.

Then...

...the REAL change has nothing to do with bloggers, blogging and reblogging. Dipshit, those are just your customers conversing with one another about the news. You should understand that ONE LITTLE THING before you put any more stupidity online.

The REAL change is going to be when all those local newspaper websites stop posting the same goddamn articles. You know which news site gets more readers than ALL of them?

Google news.

Local newspapers if they had a fucking clue would just do a google-news kind of headline, 2-line description, and then link to motherfucking Reuters. They should team-up with the other media outlets in their market (half of them are owned by the same fucking company, and that companying paying to put up 10 websites that all mostly post content from Reuters and the Associated Press... well that's dumb, huh? That's what they're doing. That will change.

They are in a very good position to create local area online community sites. Not "online community" as in "these people only see each other online". But community sites for the offline, real-world, local communities which they are serving. They have the local news. No one outside the local area gives a shit about it. They don't need to sell it or restrict access to it though, but USE it to lure LOCALS to the LOCAL community site. And what else is there? every fucking thing.

That is, everything which is local, and relevant. If all my friends were on AustinSpace instead of mySpace, I wouldn't be on mySpace. I mean, fuck, they don't even have to do it themselves - and shouldn't do it themselves since they'd only fuck it up. Sign-up Yahoo! or MicroSoft or my retarded nephew Timmy or even AOL.

Oh but no, there's no story there. Nah.

Fucker.

They haven't even started yet, and there's still already the story of what a clusterfuck MSM has made of it's awkward, eager, fearful, groping advances to the offline platform.

And let's be clear here: MSM in this context means OFFLINE NEWS MEDIA. Your local independent weekly rag has a shitty fucking website with no sense of how to do what they should be doing, or any more of a clue what that is than... well YOU for example.

And Fuck. At least John Q Blogger isn't reblogging the bullshit press releases like you jackasses often do. He's a consumer, a customer, a subscriber, and he's discussing the paper with his friends. For that, you insult him. Kiss my ass.

You make it pretty clear you don't understand the topic:

"The reason for a blog's being is: Here's my opinion, right now."

Stupid fuck. ON SOME BLOGS, YEH. And piss off if you don't like it, they didn't make that blog for you. You're blumbering through the watercooler chat flustering and blustering and telling everyone to shutup because they aren't journalists.

Like you are? You write a fucking editorial column. And for a newspaper site that is so goddamn stupid they charge for it here, when it's free here from the same company! Whose readers are imbeciles?

Your subscribers are apparently people who are just too fucking stupid to use google.

This is why mainstream media's websites are the absolute worst on the internet. The "shit standard" that one needs to meet, if you want to shitty website that doesn't belong online. If you want to talk about blogs that matter, get the fuck off mySpace, log out of second life, pull up your pants and look at the blogs that matter, dumbass. The one you write for is not one of them.

And you know what else? Look at MSNBC, because it turns out net savvy + MSM does produce a site without all the usual idiotic dipshit things that MSM sites do. Just some of them.

Wall Street Journal does all of the stupid shit and on top that charges for content that is not just free elsewhere, but is for fucks sake free right there from the Wall Street Journal!

And god dammit people, you are not saving money by squeezing every motherfucking thing you can onto the front page. Compare Google News, CNN.com, and MSNBC. Which one of those is holyfuck busy busy hard to read? Which is best? See, google knows the web. MS knows it better than CNN, and CNN knows it better than you, and every other piece of shit newspaper website on the net.

If newspapers are doing the best they can, they should just log-off.

Starting with you, Joseph. You're not even serious about the blog thing. Look at your own site's fucking favorites, you hypocritical cunt. That was the one thing you could have held to, set yourself apart from Random Blogger spouting his opion: integrity. Intellectual honesty. Say, keep your fucking favorites to yourself rather than posting to competitor's sites (as if your shitty website were any competition for anyone), but don't throw a bunch of non-competing blogs up there as your favorites.

Cause some of those blogs are kicking your ass.

Nope, you're a turd. And least Random Blogger isn't pretending to be anything other than what he is (in spite of what you seem to think, based on fantasies in your head).

Notice that the Opinion Journal isn't a good website. Neither is the Wall Street Journal itself. Because you guys are all about this:

• THE FULL WSJ.com ARTICLE IS ONLY AVAILABLE TO SUBSCRIBERS.

Get off the goddamn internet, then. At least the WWW part of it. You only need a mailing list, and there's plenty of room for you to make one since intelligent net users quit using that shit 10 years ago.

AT LEAST read the very simple instructions on google to stop your website being indexed. You're just going to fuck-up search indexes with a teaser to a FUCKING Reuters article that is available on the Reuters website.

HOW GODDAM IDIOTIC IS THAT? ARE YOUR SUBSCRIBERS COMPLETE MORONS? Oh sorry, right, "fools and imbeciles", you said.

Seriously, seriously, seriously.

One story, from the associated press:

WALL STREET JOURNAL:
FOOD FROM CLONED ANIMALS is safe to eat

Article preview is currently not available.
Please login to get complete article. [Message Id:500]

Oh damn. I wonder if the Associated Press knows about the internet?

ASSOCIATED PRESS:

FOOD FROM CLONED ANIMALS is safe to eat and doesn't require special labeling, the FDA is expected to announce today.

Wow, they do! That's the whole article, without even being asked to provide a fake email address as most of the dumbass newspaper sites do, and BONUS!: They didn't remap my fucking right-click on their website to pop-up with a 'search' feature that can't be turned OFF unless you're a subscriber. You guys are sharp as ticks.

How about something else?

WALL STREET JOURNAL: Seems to have the story here...
Asia Gradually Restores Services After Telecom Network Disruption

But nooo... DENIED!
• THE FULL WSJ.com ARTICLE IS ONLY AVAILABLE TO SUBSCRIBERS.
• IF YOU ARE ALREADY A SUBSCRIBER, PLEASE LOG IN AT THE TOP RIGHT OF THE PAGE.

Oh you tease! I really wanted to read that, you prick. I hope someone else covered the story, and by that I mean "reblogged" just like you did, only without getting their stupid all over the place.

But fuck, they might be stupid too, and everyone got it from Reuters in the first place... Since both Reuters and eager-reader are on the fucking internet - see how this works? - let's just get it from there.

Asia back online after quakes but access patchy

Well would you look at that? Whole damn article FOR FREE on a website that doesn't SUCK.

What the hell are you charging subscribers for? Is it just for your dumbass opinion?

Maybe it's for the extreme fucking irony of seeing an "Information Age" column written, shitting all over bloggers for reblogging and opinion-spouting from a clueless idiot, for a newspaper website, which are the shittiest and clueless inhabitants of the web there ever were. At least webtv and prodigy users didn't put up a metric fuckton of restricted-access sites with all the same content, which is free from their source anyway.

To see you call bloggers "fools" writing for "imbeciles", whereas you just seem to be writing headlines, reblogging, and just how in hell are blog-readers imbeciles compared to your stupid fucking subscribers? They're paying you to take free shit and put it on an annoying website, to read what they can get from the same fucking place you got it.

That's it. Enough is enough. If you don't have the common fucking courtesy to exclude your PRIVATE site so we can ignore your stupid ass, then you could AT LEAST shut the fuck up about people conversing about the day's news.

It's been long enough, these cocksuckers don't get it and aren't ever going to get it. At this point the online sites just need to stomp a mudhole in their asses, business-competition-wise.

But in the meantime, fuck Joseph Ragu, fuck the Wall Street Journal and fuck all the rest of you who took a piece of paper offline, put it online, and think you've arrived in the magical world of tomorrow. You just tripped over it, is all. Have a nice fall.

Why the fuck is THAT GUY tell me his opinion of the internet anyway.

I must have dreamt this. I mean... "Wall Street Journal Editorial Columnist says bloggers aren't as significant as they think."

Ha ha. Ah ha ha. HAAA hAA. Ah hA.

No way did I read that. NO way am I going back to that shitty web site to check.

To my adoring fans...

2006-12-23T20:47:00.000-08:00

I have started another blog. I'm not leaving this one, just started a place to call my own.

I wanted to start a kind of memoir thing. I've probably forgotten at least half of all the cool shit I've experienced in my life, so I figured I'd better get the ones I do remember on paper (whatever) while I still can.

I'll still rant here. I'll still fuck with the other Flying J's (if the lazy fucks would post something).

So, don't be ghey...go here....now

Yeah, I'm smokin' a pipe

2006-12-23T19:05:00.000-08:00

My wife and I were driving down to Austin the other day and she noticed a store called 'Pipe World' in one of the bazillion shopping centers that have taken over our area. She wondered how the hell a solitary store devoted to pipes could stay in business.

We popped in and the damn place was packed. Go Figure.

I was coaxed (really twisted my arm) into getting a pipe and a couple of ounces of tobacco. I'm now hooked. All I need is a fez and a nice velvet smoking jacket and I'll be set!

Of course, WC mentioned something about how a pipe is like a dick. Leave it to him to bring the ghey...

This post is also notable due to the fact I have actually showed my face for the first time....aint I pretty!

Good Fuckin' Riddence '06

2006-12-20T19:02:00.000-08:00

Yup, this year has sucked. I'm glad it's about dead because I hate it with every fiber in my body. If this year had a mouth, I'd take a big dump in it. If this year had a mother, I'd set her on fire and then piss on her to put her out, then set her on fire again.

I have seen a loved one die, a son go to jail for a big bunch of bullshit, me and my wife's life savings go down the drain, my wife diagnosed with a fucked up, life long condition...and the list goes on...

It's not only bad for me and my own, it's been rough all round. Two of my co-workers got cancer (young fellas too...really way to good of guys to get what they got), an old Army buddy's son fell out of a pick up truck and is now, at the age of 6, paralyzed from the neck down, a friend of my brother got hit by a fuckin' drunk and leaves a widow and six kids behind. Again, the list goes on...

Some may say "Hey MadJack, don't dwell on the bad stuff, but just think of all the blessings you've had this year and be thankful!" And I may say, "Go forth and lick goatballs you retarded chore of a woman!" I'm going to mull all this suckiness of the past year over in my head for a while. That way, if '07 is as big of a fucker that '06 was, I'll be ready for it.

So, to close this up: go fuck yourself 2006! Go fuck yourself long...and go fuck yourself hard you miserable cunt of a year.

What not to buy for Xmas

2006-12-01T14:24:00.000-08:00

A co-worker commented on how he'd just bought his wife a new Dyson for baby Jesus' birthday. I was about to tell him what an asshat he is, but decided not to. It's much funnier to let him go through with it.

I like you people out there a lot more than him though, so here goes my list of what not to buy your wife for Christmas....

Things that are work for your wife:
As mentioned above, a vacuum is not a good idea. Neither is a mop, a broom or a bottle of Windex. Wipes (oh my beloved wipes), although cool, not good either. When you buy things like this, you're telling her 'I love you so much for keeping the house clean, I'd like you to do it more! Now! Wench!'

Clothes:
Don't do it! Don't even fuckin' think about it. A fools errand that will end in yelling and perhaps a kick to the groin. Example: you buy your wife a nice dress. It's her favorite color, it's silk and you payed a tonn of money for it, but it's one size to big. This is essentially telling her that she's fat. Example #2: same dress, but one size to small. This is telling her she's fat and that you want her to drop enough weight to fit into it. Example #3: Same dress, right size, she'll hate it because you picked it out and she'll say it makes her look fat.

Anything you could remotely use for yourself:
A bowling ball with your name on it is suicide. Not only are you a moron, you're a moron trying to be slick, and that is always a bad idea. This includes: firearms, beer, pickup trucks, tools, video games and sex toys (don't kid yourself. If you get her a big dildo, you'll use it on her for your own kicks, or she'll use it on you, and that's just fucked up).

A big fat diamond ring:
Who you kidding? You can't fuckin afford it. If you can afford, stick the money somewhere for your kids to go to college on...dick

Lingerie:
I put this under it's own catagory because I wanted to do some explaining. Your wife thinks she's fat. Get it through your head. You buy a sexy little teddy that you want to see her in. One of two outcomes are ahead. One, she's really not fat, but only thinks she's fat, and you have to hear about how fat she is for an hour or two. Two, she really is fat, she looks like shit in her teddy, and you have to hear about how fat she is for an hour or two. Either way, you're fucked.

Food
Your wife thinks she's fat...don't you get it yet?

Nothing too cheap
Yes, you're telling her that she's not worth an expensive present. And it'll make her feel fat.

Nothing too expensive:
This will make her feel that your probably making up for some bad thing you have done in the last year. She'll think you've cheated on her. This will make her feel fat.

I hope this helps you poor bastards that haven't figured out how not to piss off your wife yet. Feel free to add on anything that comes to mind...

Some People...

2006-11-28T08:20:00.000-08:00

EDIT BITCHES:I increased the 'amplitude' on that sound file, hopefully yall can hear it now. If not, an official manuscript can be sent to you for $25+S/H within the continental United States

So, the day after Thxgvng I had the toughest shift I've had in a long time. Non stop bullshit till about 5am. It was the suck. I get off duty at 8am only to get home to find out that my son's car broke down about 15 miles away and I have to go fix it. All I wanted to do was sleep, but that apparently wasn't in the cards.

Me and the boy were in the car on our way down there when I notice a voice mail had been left on my phone, and this is what it said... (I dubbed over his name to protect the fucktard)

A bit of an explanation: At the end of every shift, the oncoming crew and the offgoing crew verifies the narcotics count on the ambulance. And I had apparently forgot to initial it. No big whoop really, and since I was about to drive by the station, I could easily stop by and do it on my way to my son's hunk of shit car.

But it was the other part that pissed me off. I was the '...or I guess I'll have to call the captain...' part that really made me want to go crush this fuckers head. What the fuck is he? A 5 year old ready to tattle at a moments notice? And who the hell does he think he is threatening me? What does he wish to accomplish exactly.

This mother fucker is one of those typical cracker-ass bible beating fucktards. He also believes that demon possesion is what causes patients to be sick. He's a fuckin' nutbag. He also does this really annoying thing. Him and his cow of a wife popped out a fuck trophy recently, and being such a giddy new dad, he feels that it's cool putting up stupid pics (one that comes to mind is his kid sitting there with a fabric beer mug hat thingy stuck on his head) of his kid on the station computers desktop for all to enjoy. Well, I don't enjoy it. In fact, none of us enjoy it.

Anyways, I took it. I took it like a fuckin' bitch and didn't say a goddamn thing to the little fuck. I stood there and took his smarmy look and better than you attitude as I initialed the empty box on the paperwork. I really don't know why either. Maybe I'm getting soft in my old age. I don't know, but what I do know is that I'm a fucking world class prick when I want to be and paybacks are a bitch.

Family guy quiz

2006-11-26T09:12:00.000-08:00

I did the Futurama one, and I haven't been keeping up with Venture Bros. enough lately to do one of those, so I figured I'd do a Family Guy one. So take this one or you suck a double turd in hell.

1. Who thwarted Stewie's effort on national TV to take over the world with his mind control glasses?

2. When the truck full of radioactive sludge crashed into the Griffen house and gave them all superpowers, what power did Meg get?

3. When the nucular war hit and they went to the town the Twinkies were made in and named it New Quahog, what job did they give the doctor?

4. When the Griffen's busted Lois out of prison where did they end up living when they were on the lam?

5. When Peter took Chris to the Jewish temple, what Transformer was discovered to be Jewish?

6. What was the name of Peter's country?

7. How did Stewie's head become shaped like a football?

8. When Peter rubbed the lamp, he got 3 wishes. The first was to see what Kelly Ripa is like off-camera, and the third was to have no bones. What was the second wish?

9. What was the name of the feminist lawyer who makes Peter go to "sensitivty training?"

10. When Brian was trying to get dirt on the mayor, who was Deep Throat?

BF 2142 stats

2006-11-25T09:48:00.000-08:00

Did this once before, so I thought I'd do it again, just to show how much these guys SuXXoR.

Walter's Awesomest Stats

Madjack's gay stats

Miner's fairy stats

Winston's Homo Stats

Sacrilegious?

2006-11-25T08:44:00.000-08:00

I been meaning to post for awhile, but completely ouf of character I just haven't really had much to say or any clue what I wanted to say.

Till that is I heard a "new (ish)" song on the radio today. The titles a little link to this song, a remix in fact. I just can't work out if this guy is a gutsy genius, or a fucking muppet. It's kinda catchy, but messing with the floyd?!?!? Urgh!

Hey America, Stop Declaring War!

2006-11-20T19:11:00.000-08:00

So Walter and I were talkin' tonight about this show on CNN we caught called 'Combat Hospital' (no Youtube up for it yet). Very graphic. Very sad. If you think Iraq was a great idea, I fuckin' dare you to look at that show.

Anyways...
I decided that we should stop declaring war on things. When we do, we usually fuck it up. Our 'enemy' usually ends up being stronger than it had began with. For example:

Our "War on Terror" has not only created more terrorists, it has made countries like Iran seem justified in pursuing nuclear weapon technologies to some in the world community. 9/11 was the cause of our War on Terror, and now we've seen about 3000 of our own soldiers die, and about 21000 wounded (not to mention hundreds of thousands of little brown people getting fucked up for no other reason than they live in a shithole). Our "War on Terror" has scared the shit out of us (us being the American people) to the extent that we think the Patriot Act and the Military Tribunal legislation is a good idea.

The "War on Drugs" is a god damn joke. It's easier for a teenager to go buy some crack, heroin or meth than it is to get alcohol or cigarettes. The illegal drug business in the U.S. is worth anywhere from 10-60 billion dollars a year (depending on where you get your info from). What the fuck kind of war are we waging here? One that spent 19 billion dollars in 2003. I can't even comprehend how much that is, but that's alot of money they could take off my fuckin' taxes for what it's accomplishing.

The "War on Poverty"...still poor fuckers askin' for my money walking around. Still poor motherfuckers that can't get a job any better than Taco Bell because rich fuckwad corporations like Dell keep outsourcing jobs to Hodgie in India. Still poor fuckers working at places like WalMart and still have to get food stamps and Medicaid.

Teh "Wor in Illiterassy"...more fuckers found to be illiterate now than 10 years ago.

The list goes on....

I got a great fuckin' idea (well, stole it from Walter and claimed as my own)...
Let's declare War on Peace, Prosperity, Civil Rights, Racial Tolerance, Over Fed People, Good Drivers, People Who are in Shape, Rich People and probably about a dozen more....you get my drift.

Ikea...

2006-11-16T17:56:00.000-08:00

I was coerced into going to Ikea by my wife today. I was prepared to hate it. I was going to say that It's just another corporate superstore that is sucking the life out of this country. I was also toying with the idea of adding it to OPERATION:WALMART.

I actually liked it.

Decent furniture, decent prices and so much crap there to make your home 'homier'...it was retardedly nice.

I remember the last time I was in a furniture store, and it was long ago (as evidenced by my current crappy worn out furniture). I believe it was Lack's or some other shitty hell hole like it. It felt like a goddamned car lot. Some fuckwit trying to talk me out of alot of money for some crap that wouldn't last an hour in my house. All the furniture looked relatively nice, but once you sat on it, you could feel the third world craftsmanship.

Ikea had some cheap shit I wouldn't put in my house. But it also had some really sturdy shit that looked nice and didn't require a home equity loan to buy.

You could say I sold out, but fuck all yall. I need a new couch.

L33T SN1P3R

2006-11-11T11:47:00.000-08:00

Just got my sniper rifle unlock in BF2142 and thought about this guy, the greatest sniper in the world (better than Jude Law even). These guys have a fucking hilarious site so check it out daily or you suck. Period.

Even MORE significant

2006-11-08T13:07:00.000-08:00

The fucktard resigns...

I AM POWERFUL! BOW TO ME, OH YAY, BOW TO ME AND GROVEL!

This is MORE Significant

2006-11-08T06:53:00.000-08:00

Take the following Futurama quiz or you suck a turd in hell.

1. What is Zoidberg's first name
2. Who is Fry's grandfather
3. What was the original word Bender couldn't say or the planet would explode
4. In the episode where Fry used the What If machine to find out what would have happened if he hadn't gone into cryosleep, name 2 of the real life people who were on the episode trying to stop him
5. What was the song that Fry taught his dog to sing
6. Who is the Professor's former lover
7. Did Fry and Leela ever marry
8. How did Bender die when he became a human
9. Who was the first person on Mars
10. Who had a torrid love affair with Bender and got dumped by him
11. What was the name of the fake person Fry was supposed to deliver the pizza to
12. What Olympic sport was Hermes an athelete of
13. What kind of booth did Bender and Fry meet in
14. Who is the mother of Kiff's babies
15. Finish Zap's phrase "Kiff, I have made it with a woman _______________"

THIS IS SIGNIFICANT

2006-11-06T19:30:00.000-08:00

This is an editorial printed in the Army Times saying that it's time for Rumsfield to go...

Let me say it again, just to punch it home...The ARMY Times...you know, the rag that all the soldiers read...is saying that the Sec of Defense should go. Fucking WoW!

and I, of course, agree. Hell, just look at him:

Fuckin' retard...

heh...ha....HAHAHA

2006-11-03T14:15:00.000-08:00

preacher+ghey hooker+ meth=funny

This is a guy who is rabidly opposed to ghey marriage. He apparently wants the dude smootchin' and peepee touchin' to stay where it belongs: a hotel room with a male prostitute and a few vials of meth...

At what point will people figure out how full of shit guys like this are? I know, I know...never

De-evolution

2006-10-27T16:43:00.000-07:00

I think a dark age once in a while would be beneficial every once in a while. By this I mean, when a society becomes so fat and happy that it not only lets the ugly, stupid and/or weak people breed, it hurts everyone. It begins to make the whole civilization decline because ugly, stupid and/or weak people make ugly, stupid and/or weak babies, and so on and so forth.

I think that's the point where we are right now. There's no natural selection. I see stupid people all over the fuckin' place. And ugly ones. And weak ones. And a mix of all three. They're running around, pissing me off as if they have no other goal than to fuck up not only America, but mankind in general. I giggle when I see one die on the evening news, but I know that they have already bred, probably numerous times.

We should come up with adulthood trials. When a man or a woman get's to about 18, they would have to go through 'The Course'. The course would consist of a maze with hungry lions and you could only get out of 'The Course' if you could finish a logic puzzle or perhaps a riddle.

Or maybe we should just say fuck it and watch it all burn.

Frank Miller, I Thank You Sir

2006-10-19T23:08:00.000-07:00

300

Back by popular demand

2006-10-19T13:58:00.000-07:00

by popular demand, I mean two of you...Cell Phone Pics 'o the Week.

The ugliest fire truck in Texas...the pic is small because my cell cam sucks goat balls...

Bad wreck...notice the baby car seat to the left. Little kiddo was buckled in the seat, but the dumbass mom didn't belt the carrier into the car resulting in the kid being ejected from the SUV when it began to roll. The baby lived and will be fine, but the mom should have her head beat with a brick.

This pulled up next to me as I fueled up the wifey's car. Loaded really well..and up.

I may have posted this before, but a big fuckin' burger I made during burger night at our station...I finished it, but I hurt.

No shit...I started laughing out loud when I saw this at the checkout at the local grocery store...

There you go...a little lame, not many pics, but that's all you get for now fuckers...

Online Gambling Ban, Just the Begining?

2006-10-17T12:34:00.000-07:00

When I first heard about this last week I was completely caught off guard. Americans will have a harder time playing Online Gambling sites. Complete bullshit!

I dont gamble cause I've never been that good at it so this doesn't affect me that much, but I do have friends who gamble online and its bullshit that their getting fucked because of some tight ass moral pricks are worried about what someone else is doing, welcome to moral America! Think your safe in Europe? Guess again,
EU launches online gambling restrictions probe.

But what really has me worried was this; Can this have an affect on MMORPG's? Now I can see our government pulling some shit like this against us gamers because these moral minded fucks know that playing the video games leads to the devil. Rubbish!

Online gaming, this is my only vice, well besides smoking and online porn, but Im sure those are on the moral chopping block also. How is 'trying to ban' online gambling keeping me safer? (This is a first attempt to ban online gambling). What the fuck does this have to do with anything??? Oh, thats right, someone donated a fat sack of cash to the Bush campaign and now its time for the moral minded republicans to 'pay it back'.

I play MMORPG's, I pay them money each month to have fun, and thats it. It costs them money to run the servers, pay the people, and maintain the game to keep it fun, so I keep sending them cash and the cycle repeats. All I get out of it is fun, ITS FUN!!!

They dont send me a check when I kill stuff or mine asteroids. Now there are asshats who sell make believe shit on E-Bay for real cash that I wish they'd find a way to crack down on.

You watch, I bet they'll make a move sooner or later, and that will be the last straw for me. I've lived in this country all my life, I served this country and seen friends die doing the same, I believed we could be the best and that nobody could come close to being as great and FREE as we are in America. But they take away my freedom to have FUN and I'm out. Take away my MMORPG fun time and they can kiss my pale whiteass as Im leaving. “Taste it moral America”!

Our government seems to worry way to much about what people do on their own PERSONAL time, with their own PERSONAL money, cash they earned. I dont get it, but I am getting tired of it. Hey take a look at what a joke Homeland Security is, its fucking broken and has never been effective, and yet their worried about Joe Schmo being able to place a bet online, so their gonna make it harder for him to do it, what the fuck indeed...

Dead...

2006-10-14T16:14:00.000-07:00

What happens when you die? Do you go to a new place, happy people frolickin' through fields of cotton candy and bubble gum trees? Do you go to a dark place full of polititians and lawyers and the guy from the Subway commercials where you burn for eternity? Do you join the spirit in the sky or just get eaten by worms?

Nobody knows. And don't fuckin' say you do, because you don't. And please, don't even think of using religious writings as proof (hint: the Bible isn't a fuckin' historical document...).

I think when we croak, we get reincarnated into someone you hated the most in your last life. Therefor, I will be a guy named Reese Adams. Reese Adams was a kid 2 years older than me and he used to beat me up at the bus stop about once a week. He was a world class asshole and a ghey (he was witnessed by myself and half of my home town getting a woody during a wrestling match...those singlets don't leave much to the imagination). Lastly, he was among the Ginger Children...souless, freckled and red headed.

It will suck if I'm right.

DO IT....

2006-10-08T16:38:00.000-07:00

CLICK HERE

SCROLL DOWN

VOTE FOR 'SHORT AND CURLEY 2'

YOU WILL BE REWARDED...

THAT IS ALL

Great Commentary

2006-10-07T20:16:00.000-07:00

Replay video | Share video

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar!

2006-10-04T15:19:00.000-07:00

LMFAO, "its going to be an Easter weekend to remember!!!!"

Gods Of The Silver Ship

2006-09-25T22:02:00.000-07:00

Going to start posting my novel as I write it on my other blog. Check it out if you like. Post any constructive comments over here if you like. If you don't have constructive comments, go fuck yourself.

It's linked, so check it out.

Love,

Walter

Updated on 9.29.06

The Gunslinger

2006-09-11T17:18:00.000-07:00

Reading the Gunslinger series again. Stephen King's greatest. Holy shit, every time I read these books I fall in love with them again. I remember reading the first book at 15, and being that was the only one, was bummed when it ended. Then, about a year later the 2nd book came out, then the third. I was 25 or so when the next one came out and then....nothing. Then he finished them and I had to start all the fucking way over again.

So now I'm reading them for the 2nd time. I chose to read the revised first book, because it's more in line with the rest of them and doesn't fuck you up quite so much. The only part that sucks is that I catch all of the things he didn't fix (calling Alain Alan at one point, calling the donkey a donkey sometimes and a mule others). There's an errata page on one of the Gunslinger fansites, and it actually helps to read it because you know the mistakes in advance.

Madjack got bogged down on the 4th book, Wizard and Glass, at the Wizard of Oz part. I myself hated that fucking part as well. I talked him into finishing the books and he acknowledged that (that part and the whole bit with Blaine the Mono notwithstanding) were the best of the best of any book every fucking written everywhere.

Roland Deschain would kick the shit out of Aragorn, even without his guns. That's saying a lot, because Aragorn fucking rocks. Roland crossed the desert carrying waterskins. He got his fingers chopped off (and his big toe) by a fucking huge assed lobster and almost died from the infection twice. He killed some bad motherfuckers, including a huuuuuge robot bear. When he was in Mort's body, and it caught on fire, he let it burn. And all without the help of a single fucking elf.

I just started the 3rd book, the one where Jake comes back. It's already rocking. I'm going to leave you with this, because it's the shit.

I do not aim with my hand. He who aims with his hand has forgotten the face of his father. I aim with my eye.

I do not shoot with my hand. He who shoots with his hand has forgotten the face of his father. I shoot with my mind.

I do not kill with my gun. He who kills with his gun has forgotten the face of his father.

I kill with my heart.

So if you haven't read it, you're missing out and sucking hind tit. And while you're at it, grab all of the Theives World books as well.

And stop being gay.

Walter

WC....WC....come in WC....

2006-09-03T18:41:00.000-07:00

Seems long time Flying J and meat aficionado WChurchill has lost his password to Blogger...

So, let the shit talk commence since he can't reply...

yay! Midgets pulling a plane!

2006-08-31T05:32:00.000-07:00

Ok, obviously the big question of my life and many others have been answered...how many midgets does it take to pull an airplane?

But many more arise from this photo.

Why are they pulling it?
What airline thought this was a good idea?
Who's the big guy in the middle of them (task master I suspect...I bet he's holding a drumor a whip)?
Is the one in red in the front going to crap his pants?
How do you gather so many in one place?
How do I get my own herd of midgets?

I wish I had my own herd. I'd let them frolic with my pet fire ants in my back yard. I'd feed them coconuts and laugh at them while they tried to figure out how to eat them. I'd dress them in unisex jumpsuits and give them hay and old newspapers to sleep on. That's what I would do with a herd of midgets...

I like wipes!

2006-08-22T09:16:00.000-07:00

Not much in this world I like, but all these new pre-loaded wipes are the bomb.

I'm a bleach cleaner. When I get the urge to clean (very occasionally) whatever I'm cleaning with better have some damn bleach in it. When I'm done, I like my house to smell like a spill at a chlorine plant. They've got those wipes with the bleach right in 'em, fucking outstanding. I don't have to fuck around with mixin' up a batch in a spray bottle anymore. I don't have to worry about getting little bleach dots all over my shirt.

Then I spied the Armor All pre-loaded sheets, and I got a semi. One thing I hate about cleaning my wifes car (I never clean mine) is the overspray from the Armor All onto the windows. It's a pain in the ass to get off the windshield and it always leaves a smear. Well, not now bitches. Go out and buy them now. A truely life changing event.

Now, this part has to do with my morning constitutional, so you're forwarned.
Flushable Aloe Wipes

I hope they continue with this life changing technology. Perhaps some day we can get our whole day's nutrition from a pre-loaded wipe, and solve world hunger to boot. Maybe get our alcohol from wipes (imagine when a team wins the championship and instead of chapagne being poured all over the place, they could smack the shit out of each other with wipes). The possibilities are endless.

EDIT: Now looking at this, i hope EvE comes up soon, boredom makes me write about stupid shit....

Death Metal

2006-08-21T14:24:00.000-07:00

Fucking Strongbad for th3 w1n again. Most of you have no idea what Death Metal is. If you're actually interested, it was a form of music some of us cool folk listened to in that magical time that was the 80s. We drove around in Novas and Ford LTDs and Camaros and blasted this shit at mind numbing volumes, banging our heads, letting our mullets fly. We stole our parents cars to drive 30 miles across town to get tickets to go to these shows. My Metallica (back when the didn't suck a huge dong) Metal Up Your Ass tee shirt - replete with a sword coming out of a toilet - was the reason I got sent home one day from school.

So let your metal flag fly. Don't be afraid to embrace the godliness that was speed/death metal.

Here are some bands and the best song they had that were Death Metal back in the day that you should check out to prevent further sucking.

Anthrax - Medusa
Obituary - Corrosive
Coroner - Mass Jackal
Helloween - I Want Out
WASP - Blind In Texas
Death Angel - Ultra-Violence
Testament - The New Order
Slayer - The Crooked Cross
Megadeth - Holy Wars
Sepultura - Roots (Bloody Roots)
Metal Church - Badlands
King Diamond - Abigail
Henry Rollins - Starve

...and just so you know where it all came from

Black Sabbath - Sabbath Bloody Sabbath
Motorhead - Orgazmitron

WARNING - DON'T LET YOUR MOM'S (IF YOU ARE STILL UNFORTUNATE ENOUGH TO LIVE AT HOME) HEAR YOU LISTENING TO THIS SHIT OR SHE WILL A) TRY TO EXORCISE YOU B) HAVE YOU COMMITTED TO AN INSANE ASYLUM C) HAVE YOU COMMITTED TO A DRUG REHAB PROGRAM OR D) ALL OF THE ABOVE!!

Reaction Time

2006-08-15T14:28:00.000-07:00

Let's see who's the L33TEST.

1. .297
2. .25
3. .25
4. .281
5. .235

Average .262

Click the linky or sucky my dicky.

hey you retards

2006-08-13T18:34:00.000-07:00

For those of you who can't find the aonymaforums without a link here, there it is. In all it's glory and crookedness...enjoy!

(i'm lookin' at you Beerbitches)

Hello

2006-08-13T16:32:00.000-07:00

Hello. My name is Walter Sobchak. I live around here. Been gone a while, so I'm checking in. It occurred to me that I haven't pissed in the corners lately, or told Madjack what a flaming dork he is, so Madjack "you are a flaming dork."

Here is an assorment of Sheriff John Bunnell quotes I found to make your day more gooder.

Walter

For the criminals, cash is for taking, cars are for chasing and law is for breaking

When the cops take him down, they take him down HARD.

If you're drinking, a designated driver is a good thing. However, if they drink, it isn't.

These teenage junkies were looking for a nicotine fix... but their smoking proved harmful to everyone's health

When Mother Nature hits the road; we all better give way.

This crazed madman used a cell phone while trying to escape the LAPD. But the only phone he'll be using from now on in is the one at the state pen

Whenever you are in a high-speed chase, it is going to be dangerous. But when you are involved in a high speed chase going 100 MPH down the wrong way of the highway, then it is really dangerous.

This Teenage renegade of the road is one step from getting away, but the officers of Rhode Island state police department perform a perfect California stop, now he's one step away from a prison sentence.

Hamburgers, hotdog's, apple pie and baseball, America has given the world many things... including high speed pursuits.

This maniac, hopped up on a combination of drink and drugs, needs to be taken out before he kills somebody.

This idiot is going the wrong way down a one way street - the cops gave him a one way ticket, straight to jail!

This berading bozo thought that a speed-ball and some malt liquor was the recipe for a good time on the highway. Little did he know- All good times must come to an end!

It was only a matter of time, before time ran out.

This idiot is jaywalking right in front of an LAPD officer! He doesn't know it now, but he'll have plenty of time to walk...around the exercise pen!..in JAIL!

This low-life drugs-pusher thought he could mess with State Trooper Frank Sincera, but Sincera had other ideas. Sincera executes a perfect California stop, and sends this renegade back where he belongs, IN JAIL

This youthful robber couldn't get one over the experienced shop keeper on his own turf!

The camera is the officers silent partner, only his eye never blinks

Violence......it can happen to us, at any time, at any place

These guys paid with their lives... in jail!

The man rams the guardrail. and thats when the police decide to do a little ramming of their own.

Although their drunken antics may seem amusing, there's nothing funny about ten years in a federal pen.

You do the crime, you do the time!

Its like looking for a 80 mph needle in a skyscraper haystack.

This man fights the law and the law wins - THE LAW OF GRAVITY.

This woman pays the price for driving over the speed limit and under the influence

He was sky-high on a two day crack binge and wired to the max. He was never gonna hide from Orange County 's finest. There's no place for felons like him, that's why he's heading straight for the county jail.

Life's one high speed chase and you're riding shotgun!

They tried the Freeway, they tried the Highway, they tried any which way, and they were taken down!

They fought the law, and the law won.

After robbing a dry cleaners, these bad move bandits got their own dry cleaning, and they were taken down!

Don't mess with the law, or mother nature!

This is a police squad car... it's a crime fighting tool.

Out of options, out of their minds!

Now this maniac is having his own private party. IN JAIL!

When these three crooks split up to evade the cops they weren't expecting a gift from the Cleveland P.D.. But they got one alright! They each received one-way tickets to the local slammer.

Petty thugs, selling drugs. If you think you can try and sell bammer – you'll end up going to the slammer!

Hi I'm Sheriff John Bunnel. In the next 30mins you will witness some of the world's worst drivers and world's wildest police video chases

Miami Florida, Home of Disney Land, The Miami Dolphins, and today - A HIGH SPEED PURSUIT!

Check out this crazed maniac. he is like a high octane hornet trying to evade the cruiser.

They tried to run from the police... but they couldn't escape the law.

A temporary moment of insanity can result in permanent consequences.

You have the power, you can make a difference. Keep the peace!

This renegade punk thought he could out run the law

In this case it was out of the frying pan, into the jail cell..

He makes a mad dash for the exit, but this cops wits are faster than him

Before parking behind that dump truck, make sure that DUMP truck driver isn't a DUMB truck driver

This joy-rider thought he was going to have a swell ride ...but all he got was a short ride in the back of a cruiser to jail

Dallas, Texas. Home of Big Dreams and Big Delusions.

you people suck

2006-08-05T08:23:00.000-07:00

yes, you...
that's all I have to say...

From the forums...

2006-08-01T07:13:00.000-07:00

Good shit from the last few weeks...

Vader Sessions
The benefits to playing a paladin in WoW
Sickipedia
A kick in the...
It's insane, this guy's taint
New Mac ads...
Man or a dude with tits...you make the call (nsfw)

Thx to WC, Daaemo and the rest of the blokes on the forums...

Bollywood

2006-07-18T10:39:00.000-07:00

When I wake up...

2006-07-13T19:57:00.000-07:00

I'm sure I'm going to get some shit for this, but I'm not scared...

When I wake in the morning, aside from occasional woodage, I usually have some annoying song in my head. I recently found out that this is not something that happens to most people.

It would be one thing if they were cool songs, but that is rarely the case. I compiled a list over the last week or so...

The Sun will Come Up Tomorrow-Little spunky redhead
Do You Know the Muffin Man?-No Fuckin' Clue
The Safety Dance-Men Without Hats
Make an Ugly Woman your Wife-Roger Miller
Angie-Rolling Stones (I hate this song nearly as much as I hate Nazis and handicapped people)
Theme from COPS-Inner Circle
Twinkle Twinkle Little Star-Mozart
Janie's got a Gun-Aerosmith (this particular song makes me want to kick puppies)
John Jacob Jinglehiemer Smith-again, no fuckin' clue as to who came up with this crap
The Witch Doctor song (you know the one that goes OO EE OO AHH AHH, TING TANG WALLA WALLA BING BANG)
Jesus Loves Me- churchy bible crap (this one makes me want to kick christians)
Material Girl-Madonna
Hammertime-MC Hammer
O Canada! (Canadian National Anthem...English version)-Calixa Lavallée
Theme from Barney Miller (this one was actually kinda nice to wake up too)
And the list goes on...

Not sure what it means, if anything. It usually just annoys me for the first few hours of the day.

Let the flaming begin...just try to be more original than the run of the mill ghey jokes...

From the forums...

2006-07-10T19:45:00.000-07:00

For those of you who aren't privy to our forums, I've decided to post the interesting links periodically that pop up on said forums here on the blog. This will entertain some of you, and it will hopefully keep our one member who seems to think the forums are out to destroy him from calling some other member bad names.

Soccer is teh GHEY!
Soccer is NOT teh ghey, props to Hawk!
Cheerleader getting tossed...
BIG MCLARGEHUGE (Old but still funny as fuck
WC bringin' the Hitler cats
Rocket blews the fuck up

This is complicated and may be funny only to those of you who know us in RL. This is a movie that was made from a real conversation we had on vent (ventrilo is a voice chat program we use to play online games with)one night. Flemo (a young fella that likes the drinky drinky) is drunk yet again annoying us, so me and WC start fuckin' with him...and let the hilarity ensue. This movie was done by Ecki, the dirty fish. Nogomojo the drunk is refering to is me...WC is in the dress and Del is the one in the Jerky shirt that doesn't say anything. A longer, more boring explanation available upon your request...

some funny pics:

Davie's wife Car

Another Davie pic

funny ass avatar...Thx Daaemo

And we'll end it on hot gamer chicks...

Fucking Shoppers

2006-07-10T18:58:00.000-07:00

At the chance of sounding sexist, I'm directing this gently towards you chicks out there, although there's more than a few men who do it too. What in the fuck is wrong with you people?

I'm talking about you fuckers that go to the store and get the glazed over look in your eyes. You walk up and down the fuckin' aisles like zombies, getting in normal people's way. What the fuck are you looking for? Buy the goddamn maxipads or not, just get the hell out of my fuckin' way. See jerkoff, when I go to the store, I know why I'm going and if it's the grocery store, I know where it is. AND don't stop in front of me, directly in the middle of the aisle to consult your list. Pull to the right and stop motherfucker. Go find somewhere that you won't piss me or anyone else off to check that oh so important anit-crotchfungal ointment off your list.

You walk around fuckin' up my forward progress, leaving your cart in that perfect angle where there's no way anyone will get by you as you try to figure out how many pennies per ounce you can save on avacado dip. Your worthless and you should be thankful I don't pack a gun.

And what is with these uptight fuckers that stop right in front of you to chat with some other fuckwad, then look at you like your some dirtbag cocksucker asking for there first born when you ask to get by them? I'm glad that I'm workin' on your time jerkoff.

Oh, and hey free sample lady...go fuck yourself. Hard. Twice in the ass. If I want a free sample, I'll walk my happy ass up to your rolling cart of crap and get it. Don't hollar at me from across the goddamn store and then act hurt if I don't want to look at the new Fruit Rollups you're pushing.

And finally you end your shopping experience with some teenage kid being a lame ass idiot and not bagging your groceries worth a shit. I had to tell this kid 4 times today not to stick the big ass jug of milk and the big ass jug of OJ in one flimsy goddamn plastic sack. I know the kid isn't an MIT grad, but it aint fuckin' rocket science. What pissed me off worse is that he acted like some kinda plastic bag expert...
ME: Hey, would you put them in seperate sacks?
KID:'This sack will be fine'
ME:no it wont, put them in seperate sacks
KID:'nah, it'll be fine'
ME:no it won't, put them in seperate sacks
KID:'I know they look flimsy, but trust me'
ME: PUT THEM IN TWO GODDAMN SACKS YOU NUMBNUTTED DUMBASS
KID:'pshhh...ok man...'

FUCK!

Two years bitches

2006-07-02T06:27:00.000-07:00

Aye, 2 years this blog has been up. Sit there and relish in it's rich history for a moment.

I find it interesting that this time last year nobody seemed to be posting, much like this year. But it soon picked up again, just like it will do this year.

My favorite post of the last year is THIS
Nothing better than pissing alot of people off and making a feminist 'artist' 'suffering' from 'fybromyalgia' upset...

We even mades some friends this year. Car our hippy hating old man, Micky the retard who can't seem to keep a blog or a name and stick with it (right Benn, Bensittin and any other stupid name you come and post with?), and Wendy the pissed off writer that has got the coolest purse ever.

We have a larger fanbase than we realize. I have found that many folks, like people that me and Walter work with, not only know about this blog, but frequent quite...er...frequently. Not sure how they found out about it, since this is supposed to be an ANONYMOUS blog (/glares at Walter). Of course these unknown people suck and are complete spineless pussies for not even leaving comments. And if I'm reading that site meter on the side there, we're getting anywhere from 5 to 1.4 trillion hits a month, so you fuckers need to get off your asses and get with the bloggin bitches. I must be entertained...

Venture motherfuckin' Brothers...

2006-06-26T06:57:00.000-07:00

New episode was the shiz...horribly side splittingly funny. If you missed it, then you probably are weak and pathetic. Or you were on the damn phone at your station and me and WC couldn't get a hold of you.

Madjack's month in pics

2006-06-24T04:45:00.000-07:00

Boring month...

The plane went up...then abruptly came down again. The pilot wasnt' injured but I wish he'd at least broke something. He was a prick.

Not everyday you see a burnt up chainsaw.

My partner thought it would be funny to put a 'princess' net thingy on my bunk at work...I rubbed my balls on it and gave it back to her.

Cell phone strikes again. Actual quote from 19 y/o girl who tumped the car over (she was doing about 5 mph and drove it off a little bridge) 'I was all like yelling at my dad 'cuz he stopped paying my phone bill...'

See this fireman...this is Beaky. He's an asshole for vacuuming while I was watching TV. He needs an enema.

lol...drunk guy runs into a car repair center in his expensive BMW. And his top gets cut off the car to pull his dumbass out. Ahh...

My wifey's latest work...I hesitated putting this on here, but it's just to pretty. It's a commission for a giant lesbian that scares me.

Whole Foods Market

2006-06-16T22:59:00.000-07:00

when you live in a city full of urban hippies and a business caters to their spritual life force karma, this is what happens.
Save the Lobsters!

Its called 'Whole' Foods for fuck sake, so what if I want a 'Whole' lobster? I mean come on, think of them as a type of cockroach, its basically a sea roach, a large, pinchy, delicious sea roach.

They've made their statement, their activist approach to sooth their customers, wealthy cock suckers driving BMW's. So why if they give such a shit about life and nature do they sell any meat at all? Well I'll tell you, cause their full of shit thats why. Its a place thats harped into this 'organic' food craze. “Ohhh Trent, we need to shop there because we want to be healthy, and so what if they charge 10 times more for the same shit, thats why I married you".

That mango, was grown by Eduardo who spent long days playing a Pan flute and rubbing each one with spring water to help nurture the fruits life essence”.

To be fair, I shop there once and a while for meat only. They have really good quality meat. But I really hate 99.9% of the fucks who shop there, rich cunts who are rude or these self proclaimed urban hippies.

I don't buy into that 'organic' bullshit cause I like my fruits and vegetables clean and free of insect larva and human feces. I know, call me crazy, but thats just how I am. I think it was 1996 this 'organic' juice brand Odwalla was found to be contaminated with Escherichia coli (E coli) bacteria, which just happens to come from the intestinal tract, which is where your food gets turned into poo. Hey, even if you cant see the E-coli germs, its still shit, or should I say, the essence of shit.

Fact of the matter is unless you grow it in your own garden you've got fuck all of a clue as to where and how this ultra special food is grown. Some countries use human feces as fertilizer, so if your one of the hardcore “meat is murder/eat organic only” dumbasses, enjoy that feces fruit salad. Mmmm yummy, and that makes you better then me.

I love HEB's Central Market, huge selection of food and the best meat department of any store.

Am I The Only One That Gives A Shit About The RULES??

2006-06-16T10:15:00.000-07:00

Walter Sobchak, the real Walter Sobchak, gave a shit about the rules. He doesn't roll on Shavas, he doesn't step across the line when bowling, he upholds his right to free speech in coffee shops. We should all pay homage to him and follow his example. Because nobody gives a shit about the rules! Nobody puts their fucking kids into seatbelts. Nobody uses their GOD DAMN turn signals. This is a country where everybody has to feel special and wonderful and good, but nobody has to follow the rules because that would be a violation of thier God Damn civil rights. There are aliens, hovering just out of range for our sophisticated detection equipment to see them, that are waiting to descend on us at any moments and take us out, because we are unable to just follow the rules and be good members of society.

Here are a couple more rules, fucko.

When you are on a bicycle in a heavy traffic area, YOU DON'T get to ignore traffic laws.
When I'm at the park with my kid, your kid doesn't get to cut in front of my kid and push out of the way to get to the slide. I'm glad I made you cry.
When I tell you not to shoot me with the fucking water pistol, I fucking mean it.
Let the fucking guy back out of the god damn parking space in the fucking parking lot, dickhead, it's not like you're going to gain any time by shooting past him.

That's all for now, mostly to prove that I'm still alive.

Dick.

Still here...

2006-06-13T14:09:00.000-07:00

aye, i think we're all here. Just in a collective blogging funk...

Guilds

2006-05-28T08:58:00.000-07:00

So I'm online, playing WoW with the Guild that the wifey hooked me up with. Honestly, I don't mind being in a guild full of strangers, but don't actually expect me to read your fucking chats or in any way interact with you. If you need help from a lvl 34 Warrior, or my 22 Rogue, let me know. Otherwise, fuck off. You're not friends of mine, I don't care anything about you, you just happen to have the same tag over your head that I do. Maybe I'm anti-social, but fuck, how many fucking people do I have to give a shit about in this world? I care about my family, and my personal friends, and do genuinely like the guys that hang out on Vent, but that's where I draw the line.

I was approached in SWG one day by this guy wanting me to hook up in his smuggler's guild. I said okay, and within an hour, he was spamming that he wanted all guild members to "check the guild chat every ten minutes for updates." Dude, some of you seriously need to get a fucking life. You need help.

I kind of feel this way about my neighborhood. I don't like my neighbors, and they don't like me, but we happen to live on the same street, so I might rush over to help out if you have a medical emergency in the middle of the night and you pound on my door instead of calling 911. But we have to kinship just because you live next to me. I lived in apartments for years. That's what the name means - APART. I didn't know my neighbors, and many of them moved out frequently so I couldn't have if I'd have wanted to. Which I didn't.

Guilds, therefore, are like that. I'm playing WoW last night and the whole guild gets pissed off at this or that and one quits, then another, and everyone is like "fuck man, everything is going to shit" like their real life friends are jumping off of cliffs in droves. They asked me what I thought and I said "I think you all should just quit playing and go chill out." But nobody wanted to do that. Which I think is comical. The Vent community we have is pretty kickass. I like the Brits, except Flemo who I think is a complete retard (just kidding) and Madjack, who I KNOW is a complete retard (not kidding). It's because I know you guys. It's fucked up that we can't play WoW on the same server, but Quake Wars and BF2142 and Huxley are not too far off, and I can't wait to get off of a game with total strangers to hang out online with folks I actually know.

Because seriously, who wants to live in apartments with a bunch of jackasses forever?

Venture Brothers DVD Season 1

2006-05-19T12:42:00.000-07:00

Oh, come on! I shook his hand, it's all fat and stubby! He must have like a huge mushroom down there! So...does he have a Smurf living in it or what!?!

I Think To Goddamn Much!

2006-05-18T21:49:00.000-07:00

Shit, trying to meet women is such a fucking hassle. I've been dealing with this bullshit for a long time now and I know its not just me having a string of bad luck. I'm no metro-sexual asshole that some women are after, you know, the guys who have to shop at Ambercrombie and Fitch, or the bad boy agro cock suckers who always seem to be looking for a fight, women love them for some reason. I don't think I'm a completely ugly bastard either. So where does this cast me on the social scene? Being in the middle seems to be just the same as being on the bottom.

To be honest I could really fucking care less, but sometimes, despite my attempts at a life of solitude and nerdly pursuits, I feel empty, get lonely, whatever you call it and start thinking how nice it would be to find a chick who liked me FOR me and not what I look like. I've started to become a bitter asshole over the years and have taken a defensive view of these modern times and the social brain washing thats taken hold in the western world. Not many people seem to give a fuck about anything else other then looks.

I'm not into boasting about myself, all I can really say about that is I'm very happy with who I am. So with all this bullshit thats filled womens heads, how in the fuck can I ever expect to get a fair shot at meeting someone? Hell if I know.

I understand that people have different tastes when it comes to someone elses looks, even Im that way to some degree but still, if a woman that I may not find attractive acts friendly towards me Im not going to be an asshole. So it strikes me when I offer a simple 'hello' or a friendly smile and some chicks look at me like I just grabbed a hand full of their ass.

All I do is just act right, be nice you know, but it seems like 99% of the women I meet dont want nice. Their looking for 'billy badass' guy with tattoos and way to much goddamn hair gel and a cock sucker attitude who's gonna end up shitting on them. Yeah I guess it makes sense if their just looking for some cock to fill their time, make them feel loved or whatever. But a few months later when their all bitter and sad, what happens, they go right the fuck back out there and do the same goddamn thing all over again. Fucking clueless and they've got no sympathy from me. Fire burns you dumb ass, so what makes you think your not gonna get burned when you touch it again. I say "give nerd a chance".

But I'm the unattractive nice guy who gives a shit about most people and knows how to act right and I get no where. Ah the joys of social interaction. Bitter, your goddamn right I am, but I try to keep it hidden and keep buggering on.

Another thing thats a nice shoe to the nuts is, well if I meet a woman and try just being friends but somehow in their mind they think Im trying to cross over from the friend zone so I end up getting shit on for no reason, what the fuck is that all about? Fuck me, sorry for not living up to your high expectations of physical attractiveness, sorry I gave enough of a shit to be nice in the first place.

Things that tell me a women isn't worth my time. Low riders, especially if their wearing their thong straps higher then their waist line. Nice to look at but to hell with anything other then my brief attention. Makes me want to tip them a dollar.

Tramp Stamps, you know those tattoos on the small of their backs, the one they got to express their 'individuality' just like the other 120,000 in the Austin area. Yeah, again they get the attention but thats about it.

The more attractive a woman is the more chance she has of being just another over pampered cunt, some princess who wants something perfect and demands everything. I know that isn't completely fair to judge with such a broad brush stroke but goddamn if seems to hit the mark 95% of the time.

It'd be nice to get a fair shake at meeting someone, someday. Given the chance before I get shit on and blown off. Why do I give a shit, lol the cool part about this is yeah, tonight I feel kind of down on myself but tomorrow theres a good chance I'll get back to normal and not give a fuck.

I gave up a long time ago, not really sure I want to try it again, oh and I love it when friends feed me that bullshit about “She'll show up when your not looking” pep talk. No offense but you can blow that out of your fucking ass. So where does that leave me? Meh, I have good friends, and I think thats all I really need, that and my mits!

Getting Old(er)

2006-05-17T18:43:00.000-07:00

There's not a whole hell of a lot that rocks about getting old. But I was thinking of one of the things that actually make it easier today. See, as you get older, chances are that at some point in your youth, you've done the stupidest fucking thing that you are going to have to do in your life. Nothing will ever top that stupid fucking thing, so you know that no matter what you have to do, it won't be as bad as that.

Here is a list of some of the stupid things past employers have made me do:

I once swept a large parking lot with a push broom
I helped break a foot of ice off of the deck of a big factory trawler
I worked at McDonald's
I used to have to shine my boots every morning so that I could go to the motor pool and fuck them up
I used to stock groceries, clean a bakery after hours and unload pallets for minimum wage
My first ambulance job was for minimum wage (5.25 an hour). At this job, we had the contract with the Harris County Hospital District, and used to have to take indigents home into the heart of the 3rd Ward at 4 am. For minimum wage.

So you see, no boss can break me. I have done something way more stupid than anything they can come up with. Because once you've swept a parking lot, you've reached terminal idiocy.

Potential Flying J outing?

2006-05-12T16:30:00.000-07:00

Lebowskifest

May 19th...bitches

Why is America #1?

2006-05-10T20:20:00.000-07:00

New Movie

2006-05-10T07:47:00.000-07:00

There's a new quake wars movie out from E3. Looks tasty. Clicky tha linky or sucky my dicky.

E3!!!!

2006-05-10T00:30:00.000-07:00

If your not watching G4 TV Live at E3 your wrong, or just unlucky.

G4 E3 2006

Holy Shit Huxley!

Madjack's week in pics

2006-05-06T12:54:00.000-07:00

Figured I'd put this camera phone to use, so I'll be trying to get some pics going once in a while...

Where the magic comes from...I've locked god in my comp....

my dumbass firefighters though this cop doll would be funny in my front seat, ghey

Random hot chick in HEB (local grocery store for those not in Texas) buying beer with her man early in the morning.

My current project in my garage, cabinets for the kiddo's room

up way too early in the morning for this one

This is funny...guy injured in nasty little wreck, and everyone is standing around lookin'

Latest sculpture

My jackass partner...they stuck me with a guy that's completely opposite of me, like an anti-madjack (neocon, bible thumpin' skinny grinnin'...the list goes on)

One of our lovely station meals...burger with sautee'd onions, homefries, baked beans and grease...and some grease covered grease

I had to pull a shift on our transfer truck...this is what I looked at all day as there wasn't any actual transfers...

artsy fartsy closeup of a table at the frozen custard place (best peanut butter milkshakes.ever)

The firefighters at my staion coming back from a brush fire call...in the middle of a wicked thunderstorm that dumped about 4 inches of rain in an hour. They didn't find the brush fire...lol

This is the top secret society of the Flying J's. Four of the Five aonyma members are here (Delusional is currently in England for some strange reasone). The one on the far right is beerbitches...dedicated forum member and all around gheywad.

There ya have it. A slice of Madjack's life in one really long post. Get to postin' you bitches!

WOW

2006-04-25T16:08:00.000-07:00

Yep, back to playing WoW. The wifey is into it and everyone abandoned me on the Battlefield. I'm on the Alleria server. Aiwin. Peace.

That's no ordinary rabbit

2006-04-22T09:42:00.000-07:00

There was a website that had like a million pics from the movie, but I can't remember how I got to it. It was some funny shit.

UPDATE: Found a different site, but it has most of the pics.

Some New Quake Wars Pics

2006-04-17T13:37:00.000-07:00

IGN has some new pics. Looks even awesomer than before. I think this game is going to kick the living shit out of BF2142. Seriously.

PS You got your shit fixed yet baldy?

Happy Easter

2006-04-16T21:16:00.000-07:00

Took a dude to the hospital this morning far far to the north. The fire guys told me that he does this every holiday, as his family lives up there. Should have known something was up when I got there and he was in his Sunday best, with his hair all slicked up at 3 am. I hope that when this jackass walks into church, he catches on fire.

Give some props to the Man Jesus today. Whatever you believe, the dude got some hard shit handed down by those pesky Romans. Hope the Easter Bunny gave you a hunk of candy.

Don't be lame. Try not to suck, although that's apparently a chore for so many people in this world.

I am The Walter

The day that sucked alot

2006-04-15T17:51:00.000-07:00

Today.

Took wife shopping in the morning. Good times.

Noticed her car's blinker wasn't blinking. Went to auto parts store to get new bulb. Was sold wrong bulb. Went back got right bulb. Found out that my wife's car requires you to take the whole headlight assembly off to get to the fuckin' blinker bulb. An hour later, noticed I needed a different bulb for the front than the back. Returned to get right bulb again. Got back and put it in, still not blinking. Return to autoparts store for blinker fuse. Her car only has a flasher fuse. Get one and can't figure out where to put it. Not in the fuse box, not in the other under the hood. Not anywhere I'd put a fuckin' fuse. I am defeated by an Olds...

Computer fucked up, figured my powersupply was bad so picked on up while shopping. Got one that didn't have the right plugs. Put scavanged part into comp, comp won't boot...fuck with it for 4 hours. Still no boot. MadJack mad...grrr...

Drinkin' beer and coloring easter eggs now.

I wrote this in a new style of writing i've called 'bother people who write good and stuff style'.

I hope walter likes it.

Just a quick funny before I go to bed

2006-04-06T23:58:00.000-07:00

I was reading Penny Arcade tonight, and wondered if Madjack had ever seen this one, so I posted it.

Quick Penny Arcade funny

And the newest Strongbad

Last One in is a freemason

Verification codes...WTF???

2006-04-06T17:49:00.000-07:00

What the hell is this? These people are getting too goofy with this verification shit....the next one wasn't any better:

What Doesn't the internet have?

2006-04-05T14:10:00.000-07:00

I found this little gem while looking searching 'fat guy in a little car' (see previous post).

yes, let the meteor come already....

Bring on the Meteor

2006-04-05T13:59:00.000-07:00

I seen a kid that weighed at least 150lbs today and was about 7 years old. He was crammed underneath one of those shop carts that look like a car and the steering wheel was up against stomach, so much so he couldn't steer it. He had a little sister that was less than two next to him who kept falling out because of his girth. When his mom pushed the cart, it looked like she was pushing a wagon full of bricks up a mountain.

Ninjas

2006-04-01T07:41:00.000-08:00

I know we've all seen it a million times. But this shit just never stops being funny.

Ninja

Okay, this is fucking funny

2006-03-30T19:00:00.000-08:00

Someone put a video to the song from Team America. Holy shit. This is some truly hilarious shit. Trey Parker continues to be one funny mother fucker.

America...Fuck YEAH

NOT WORK SAFE!!!!!!!!

Heres a Website For MadJack to Get All Lathered Up About

2006-03-29T08:35:00.000-08:00

It has something to do with that lesbian liberal wacko cuntwench your in love with and some fuckhat wearing a bow tie, so they must be talking about that quasi-hippie 'hate America' propaganda your all into and shit. Everything is a conspiracy, get your fucking tinfoil hat!

http://www.majorityreportradio.com/weblog/

'Faces of Man' sucks...bad...really bad

2006-03-27T20:50:00.000-08:00

Wow...I should kick Xerra in the balls for even mentioning this game, but I'm the sucker for even trying it out.

'Faces of Man' is a sci-fi MMO, I think. I seen one other guy, and he called me a newb and ran off. I also got spammed in the ingame email by clans wanting me to join them.

It's by some German game company. They should really stick to wearing panty hose and brewing beer.

While I was on the game (grand total 72 minutes) I was able to take a nap, get hit on by a french Npc, get lost, die (fall damage sux), get lost again, yell at my computer 32 times, flip off the mission terminal and take these tasty screenies:

Swank Euro-trash mag I can't read

All that makes me tired...nappy nap nap

...And the french guy hitting on me (incase you can't read it, he's asking me what color my eyes are). His name is Nicky Lareau and that should say it all.

I couldn't figure out anything after the brief tutorial. I couldn't find anything to shoot, couldn't get a mission and the graphics suck ass.

'Faces of Man' needs to face the music and claw it's own eyes out and choke itself.

EA delivers more crack to the masses

2006-03-23T14:27:00.000-08:00

EA has made me drool over yet another game. It will be fun. It will have multi-player explosiony goodness. We will play it, love it and talk shit about it. This is my prediction.

here's a movie

HOLY SHIT!

But..... I was checking out a few Quake Wars:Enemy Territory sites and that game looks fucking amazing as well.

Quake Wars

WTF is WFG???

2006-03-21T04:33:00.000-08:00

Ahhh, Wrestling for Jesus...
The Jesus Freeks need a new marketing guy.

Ouch!

2006-03-16T18:07:00.000-08:00

Shaving accident #4502. May grow a mullet now...

BF2 Euro Forces -LIVE-

2006-03-15T00:54:00.000-08:00

Euro Forces is out, got it last night.
The new maps kickass, huge!

Almost forgot

2006-03-14T16:16:00.004-08:00

Since we're playing BF2 again (at least some of us non-whiners are), thought I'd repost some of our stats just to show who's who around here.

Walter's Stats

Madjack's Stats

Airz the fucking little bitch's Stats

Ecki

The Miner Man (uber gay)

Flemo the Homo's Stats

Winston's Stats

Yes, I rule.

Top 10 Things that Mickey won't believe I did within the last year or so

2006-03-13T19:06:00.000-08:00

Mickey called me a liar, so here's some more things for him to get all pissy about...

-Seen a man with his eyeball impaled on a toilet's cut off valve
-Was bit by a Brown Recluse...3 times
-Had an old woman tell me to go answer the TV because her dead husband was supposed to be flying by.
-Killed 2 snakes
-Had my toes stepped on by Sandra Bulluck
-Had a US Senator ask me if I was "queer or somethin'"
-Built an end table and then accidentally ran it over in my wife's car
-Pissed off a slew of perverted feminists (with the help of WC and Walter)
-Broke one of my front teeth by opening a cabinet door
-Made fun of at least 5 different Brits

I'm a bad mother fucker!

Just gotta wonder

2006-03-11T01:23:00.000-08:00

Can they really deliver on this? Holy shit.

Walter, With A Babies Head!!!!

2006-03-10T00:04:00.000-08:00

Linked for her pleasure

God, are you out there?

2006-03-07T17:08:00.000-08:00

If you are, then please put a big deity sized lightning bolt into the forehead of Mick Jagger. Please! I would even stop being evil if you would.

The man was past his prime 20 years ago. I heard one of thier (Rolling Stones) songs come on the radio, so I changed the channel, and lo and behold, there he is singing 'Dancing in the Street' with Bowie. I wish they were dancing in the street I was driving on at the time, because I wouldn't have to write this right now.

For fuck's sake, look at him:

KILL HIM! Make him dead...and while you're at it, kill the voodoo priestess that's controlling this zombie asshole too...

Why were they allowed to play at the Superbowl? I was rooting for Mick to fall off the stage a break a hip, and for Keith to go unconscious so maybe a doctor in the crowd would finally declare him dead (it's been needed for at least 20 years)

Make them go away, there so many other good bands that could be out there doing there thing. So many more talented musicians that could use the publicity.

Thanks for Your time God. Have a nice day.

MadJack

p.s. do you think you could paint my van? It's cool if your busy and all, but you know, it needs it, and you got all that omnipotence lieing around...

The next cool website for you bitches to check out.

2006-03-06T19:05:00.000-08:00

Some of you, who will remain nameless (fucko), have reminded me on a daily basis the subtle hint of "hey, did you know we have our own blog?" Just so Madjack knows, you can talk all the shit you want on the fucking forums. I don't care, but yes, I do know we have a blog.and I feel shitty about not posting more. So go fuck yourself.

I found this website today, and I gotta tell you, this is the best shit on the internet. It's a list of badasses. What got me was that they have Maddox (yes that Maddox - maddox.xmission.net) listed as an ultimate badass. This goes into the cool stack, so check it out. We will have our NEW AND IMPROVED BF2 server soon. The whiny bitches want a itty bitty server, which sucks my fucking dong, but they'll win like little bitches always do.
So check it out and get a laugh and remember that you are all gay.

Walter

http://www.amazingben.com/badass.html

fuck you and the html you rode in on

My Bucket of Photos

2006-03-04T19:22:00.000-08:00

Not sure if this is a good idea or not, but I just went through all my photobucket pics and laughed my ass off. Figured I'd share it with yoos folks...

Madjack's photobucket

Seems to be alot of stuff from SWG there, but also some other good stuff as well...

And for all you player haters out there, you can even see a portrait of me via the handy work of WC!

BTW: Post you lazy bastards!

Yoga Booty Ballet

2006-02-25T16:42:00.000-08:00

I turned on the TV this morning to this

The end of the world can't come quick enough...

MadJack struck Dumbfounded at the gas station...

2006-02-22T17:56:00.000-08:00

So, I go to pay for some gas at the local Shell station. Behind the counter was an nearly albino woman, preggo's with a shitload of hickies on her neck. And a missing front tooth. And a receding hair line.

There's me and another white guy in line. A black man walks in, hands the preggo woman a $20 and says it for pump five. Yeah, an ass for cutting in line, but oh well.

When the black man leaves, the toothless bitch says, "Well, look at Mr.Hoity Toity that can't stand in line. I guess he's got to hurry and go pick some cotton."

I stood there for a moment, not really understanding the connection of cutting in line to picking cotton. It took me a good 10-20 seconds to realize that that was a racist comment.

I asked her if she had warped in from some other time, like the early 1900's, which she didn't quite get by the look of the lost blank look I recieved. The man behind me chimed in and said, "yeah, and this isn't even cotton pickin' season you dumbass woman."

I laughed at that and then asked the woman who the fuck she thought she was talking like that. I asked her if she was jealous of the man, who appeared to have all his teeth, good taste in clothes and drove a Lexus? Was she pissed because he obviously was a productive member of our society, where she worked in a gas station making minimum wage and will probably be unable to provide for the child she was packing around without suckin' off the government teat. She said that it was only a joke, and she didn't mean anything by it. I told her she's full of shit and left.

This day and age, racism isn't so out in the open, but it still lurks in the hearts of the fucktards of our country.

Paramedics are some sick bastards

2006-02-16T08:19:00.000-08:00

So, it seems there was a construction worker cleaning a large machine with a water hose. The machine had something like this in it...

He then turns his back the still running machine, and gets the back of his jacket entagled in it. He's sucked into the auger and dies a horrific death before his co-workers can stop the machine.

Myself and some other medics, after the call, was talking about it:

'That dude was screwed as soon as he showed up to work'

'I hope he got some nookie from his crush last night' (day after Valentine's Day)

'That's a rough job to have, he had to work from the ground up'

'I heard that the guy was newly hired, and as part of the safty orientation they have to rotate through all the equipment to famliarize themselves with them.' (Mucho props to Brahma Dan...best pun in years!)

yup, we're fucked up...

Whats Going On Here?!

2006-02-15T19:06:00.000-08:00

Hell if I know, but I found this on google and it made me lmao.

Theres a really good chance that if a hot chick were crawling into my bed that I'd be making the same face.

2006-02-14T09:16:00.000-08:00

patch is out on fileplanet

My Nerd Skills Are Strong!

2006-02-13T18:37:00.000-08:00

Look, behold, and prepare for bewilderment.
I am a manly man, a warrior poet, a pwn3r of n00bs!

new patch notes for BF2 tomorrow

2006-02-13T12:25:00.000-08:00

Dolphin Diving is no longer possible
Players can no longer jump and shoot at the same time
Prone Spamming is now fixed
Sprint exploit is now fixed
Helicopter now carry 8 missiles rather than 14
TV-Guided missile now have a shorter range
Damage decreased from M134
Hit points on all air vehicles has been reduced
AA missile lock has been improved
All support kit weapons have been adjusted
All Sniper rifles have been adjusted
Sa80 has been adjusted
G3A3 has been adjusted
Reload while sprinting has been enabled
Medic defibrillator paddles have been adjusted. They now reload while not in use.
SCAR-L reload sound has been fixed
Server setting to allow friendly fire to be off on mines without affecting other weapons.
Server search filters now work properly
Mines can no longer be destroyed with other explosives
Bug in MP7 fire rate fixed. Ammo count increased and mag count and damage decreased
Flash bang effect radius decreased
Added unlocks for Sniper and AT kits
Fixed a bug in terrain rendering with night vision, whereby terrain was still dark in dark areas.
Fixed a bug whereby mods that are not bf2 or not xpack permutate shaders every time a level is loaded.
Fixed a bug whereby non-xpack mods cannot use xpack shaders.
Fixed bug in TV guided missiles of Havoc helicopter
The LAV25 now no longer shoots through penetrable materials.
Vehicles no longer disappear when viewed from some vehicles with a HUD (e.g. Tanks).
Performance gain found in static mesh rendering.
Detonation radius from grenade launcher explosions has been reduced.
Grenade launcher projectiles now have a minimum distance.
Fixed bug with capturing a flag from outside of the flag radius.
Fixed map selection screen issue on Wetlands
Being able to pass through walls using a spinning tank turret has been fixed. It has also been address on all rotating vehicle positions just to be safe.
Tanks taking damage from the terrain has been reduced
The Red/Blue nametag bug has been addressed
The disappearance of tank projectiles and grenade launcher projectiles during online play has been improved and should occur less frequently
The distance for throwing hand grenade, ammo packs, and health packs has been increased

So play it fuckers. This means you, Madjack. Gay ass.

MIA

2006-02-11T07:10:00.000-08:00

Yes I've been MIA for a bit. Busy. Work, teaching, extra shit. Saving the world from the forces of evil (well not really). Sticking my finger in the dyke of chaos. I'll post when there's time and energy, but lately I'd rather just play BF2 or Eve with the guys and chill. Went on vacation for a whopping 2 days.

Keep the blog going. Fill it with love and happiness. And hope, for a better world.

And a new tomorrow.

Just kidding. Truth is I fucking hate you all.

Love,

Walter

Picture phone in action

2006-02-08T19:50:00.000-08:00

This was funny to me...not sure why. This is what I use my expensive ass camera phone for. Pitiful, I know.

Yet Another Great Find From The Halls That ManGoat Built

2006-02-04T13:09:00.000-08:00

This one is a two-fer! A must read directed at Mad_Jack and Walter.
Click and Discover

HBO sucks balls

2006-02-04T09:12:00.000-08:00

Who the hell cancelled Carnivale??? Why wasn't I notified???

5.11.2005 | Carnivale Comes to a Close:

After a two-season (24 episode) run, HBO has decided not to renew its Emmy®-winning Depression-era drama, Carnivale . As Carolyn Strauss said, "We have decided not to renew Carnivale. We feel the two seasons we had on the air told the story very well and we're proud of what everyone associated with the show has accomplished."

Garnering widespread critical praise, Carnivale contributed to HBO's 32 Primetime Emmy® Award wins in 2004, landing 5 awards out of 7 nominations. The wins include trophies for Outstanding Cinematography and Outstanding Art Direction for a Single-Camera Series, ending the series on a high note.

What a bunch of assholes.

My new Favorite Show in the World

2006-02-03T11:26:00.000-08:00

I like grilling, but get tired of the traditonal Texas BBQ and this guy can grill anything, any way...my new hero.

Ushicon '06

2006-01-29T11:07:00.000-08:00

50' weapons were all the rage this year
Click
Click

The eyes, they, never blink, ever!!!!!
click

The masses of aromatic anima fans, moving to fast for the camera?
Nope just a shity camera operator.
Click

Whos this guy? Fuck if I know but he had three racoon tails which in Japan means he can kick your ass
Click

Fullmetal Alchemist was the biggest group of fans this year.
Click
Click

Paranoid Agent (Boy with the Golden Bat) Love this series.
This kid even had the evil grin down! Fuckers wouldn't let him wear his roller blades!
Click

Dragon Ball Z?
Click

The vendor room, bad ventilation in there = extra funk
Click

And then there were the hotties!
click

Click

Click

I declare this blog MINE

2006-01-21T06:21:00.000-08:00

I pwn this place now. Slackers and wallflowers no longer welcome. I have spoken.

Random blogs...

2006-01-18T18:05:00.000-08:00

Here I go again, hitting next up top/right.

This creeps me out

Her mosaics suck

Like bikes?

This is REALLY disturbing...

Like chairs and Jesus?

They all suck ass...
Ours is truley the best blog in the fuckin' universe...
Now which one am I going to go fuck with.

EDIT: this just in... Worlds worst blog name, aaaannnnd she's a fuckin idoit overzealous dog lover to boot. These types fuckin' hack me off. All this time and effort on fuckin' pets. Don't get me wrong, I love my dog (even if he draggs his balls down the stairs) but let's have some perspective people.

EDIT EDIT: Read the comments first, then go HERE...it'll make more sense.

Fuck you Overstock.com

2006-01-12T14:49:00.000-08:00

Chat InformationWelcome to Overstock.com's Live Chat! Due to increased holiday interest, your estimated wait time is 0 minutes and 3 seconds.
Chat InformationWelcome to Overstock.com Customer Service, you are now chatting with Romeo.
Romeo: Thank you for visiting Overstock.com. How may I help you today?
you: hello...I ordered these 2 movies before Christmas and they were supposed to be shipped to my dad, but he has yet to recieve them
Romeo: Sure! Let me see what best I can do for you.
Romeo: May I have the order or invoice number please?
you: xxxxxxxxxx
Romeo: Thank you.
Romeo: For security purposes, could you please verify your name and your billing address?
you: jack xxxxxxxx xxx xxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxx, TX xxxxx
Romeo: Thank you Jack, for verifying.
Romeo: Are you referring to'Cannonball Run (DVD)'?
you: yes, and the other one as well...Cannonball Run 2 (DVD)
Romeo: May I please place you on hold for a minute or two while I research this for you? .
you: yup
Romeo: I reviewed your account and I see that the item was shipped on 01/04/2006 via USPS.
you: ok...that was about 3 weeks after I ordered it, and 8 days since it's been shipped, and he still hasn't gotten it yet.
you: actually, it's been closer to a month since I ordered it...12-13-05 was the order date.
Romeo: It normally takes 1-4 days for the item to leave the warehouse.
you: and that means what to me?
Romeo: It will take 2-15 days from the original ship date for the order to be delivered.
you: ok, you're still missing about a week and a half...but I guess that is neither here nor there. When Is it actually supposed to get there?
you: so my dad should get it 2-15 business days AFTER 1-4?
Romeo: It is the timeframe we follow. I am sorry for the inconvenience.
you: And considering the fact that when I purchased it on your site, the thing said it would be there by xmas....
you: it's fine if you follow your own time frame, but don't be asshats and lie about on your website.
you: and how about answering the question...it is supposed to be there 1-15 days after 1-4?
Romeo: I am extremely for this unusual inconvenience.
you: are you a real person, or some fuckin' automated response system?
Romeo: My name is Romeo. A real person.
you: are you in the US, or some third world shit hole?
you: "is it supposed to be there 1-15 days after 1-4?" can you answer that one?
Romeo: Jack, the item should reach within time. Please do not worry.
you: LOL, within time? Christmas was like 3 weeks ago dumbass. do you know what Christmas is?
you: You know, Baby J was born...we give presents to each other. Or are you one of them elephant worshipers that hates Jesus?
Romeo: Jack the item should reach or before 01/26/2006.
you: That is a month and a half after I ordered it though. By what you said, the latest I should have recieved it (including 4 days from the warehouse and 15 days delivery) whould have been the 2nd. What I want is a refund of at least the S&H, your first born and a damn cake. And the cake better be German chocolate. with lots of coconuts on it.
Romeo: I understand why you are not satisfied. Have a nice day.
you: bite me

fuck

Tooooo Quiet

2006-01-09T07:02:00.000-08:00

Make me laugh. Now. Dammit.

Generalized Bitching

2005-12-29T17:27:00.000-08:00

All of you fuckers are playing gay shit. Eve Online (which I hear is pretty good actually). Come man up and let's do some Civ 4 and CONQUER THE FUCKING WORLD! I went 48 hours without playing my compy. It was a fucking nightmare. Withdrawls. Ack.

I learned a lesson this week. The hell of getting a garage door opener. It's harder than you think. I know, you're thinking "what's the big deal about a fucking garage door opener?"

I'm not going to tell you, because you suck.

Well, some of you suck. You know who you are. Having a kid, I watch a lot of Cartoon Network and shit. Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends has become my new favorite. Followed closely by Ed, Edd and Eddy.

Stay real and try not to suck.

Merry Xmas Milky Lickers

2005-12-24T13:58:00.000-08:00

I don't exactly know what a milky licker is, but it's Winston's word and I stole it. So there. It's Xmas. I'm working (well, I'm at work ya know, that doesn't mean I'm "working"). If you call 911 today then you're really bored. Or maybe sick. Or injured. But wow, it's a nice day. 70s here in Texas. Beautiful sky. I hope you all have a good Holiday Day. I saw the phrase Chrismukkwanza or something the other day. Wow, in trying to make everyone happy, we've bastardized 3 seperate holy days. Nice. Very impressive. Pizza is done in the oven, so I gotta bail.

Take care you fucktards, Love you all,

Walter

This Is, Goddamn Just Watch The Video!

2005-12-20T11:53:00.000-08:00

Jet Powered Boots!
This guy is crazy, but he really does fly! To many safety issues for me to want to try this, yet.

AHHHAHAHAHHAHAH!

2005-12-20T08:27:00.000-08:00

thanks to darana @ trfo